Alyssia Birjalal
In a recent episode of ”
The Relebogile Mabotja
In a podcast episode, experienced broadcaster Melanie Bala discussed her experiences with motherhood, personal losses, and seeking genuine connections with host Relebogile Mabotja.
Over her extensive career lasting more than thirty years, Bala seldom grants interviews. However, her talk with Mabotja offered a profound examination of womanhood and the challenges typically associated with it.
Starting with humble origins at Bop TV, Bala has now become an enduring presence at Metro FM, serving as a consistent voice within South Africa’s broadcasting landscape. However, beneath her prominent role hides a narrative filled with affection, development, and the challenging journey of moving on.
In this episode, she talks about the pressures imposed by societal expectations related to motherhood, stating:
I believe I relinquished long ago the notion of what constitutes the ideal mother, as defined by societal norms, familial expectations, magazines, and blogs.
Once I finally released that expectation, it felt immensely liberating. Even today, with my children being teenagers, we engage in very open and candid discussions, such as when I’ve had a difficult day… This shows them that I too am human and not the perfect mother.
My parents’ era approached things quite distinctively; my mother was the quintessential homemaker. It took me considerable time to move past that paradigm.
Exploring further, Bala shares the emotional intricacies she encountered during her separation from well-known artist Zwai Bala.
Nobody wakes up in the morning determined to end their marriage; it’s typically an outcome that unfolds over a lengthy period. As you move toward the ultimate choice of filing for divorce, a part of you begins to detach emotionally. Consequently, much of the mourning occurs throughout this transitional phase.
So, once the divorce occurs, it feels like ‘Alright, things have changed,’ and from there begins a new phase: figuring out how to live life without the person you were together with for so many years.
Once again, it’s about being kind to yourself. You will inevitably make errors and stumble, yet you allow yourself the space to learn from them, especially when parenting together.
She mentioned that she decided not to force her children to choose sides or speak negatively about their father, nor did she encourage them to sever ties with the extended family they’ve known all their lives.
They did not seek out this situation (divorce). In reality, they are the ones who have remained blameless throughout all of this. Therefore, each choice I’ve made has been driven by what’s most beneficial for them.
He mentioned that the split was unexpected for his two kids.
“My
daughter
She began chuckling since she believed we were pulling her leg. My boy was quite distressed… Although it wasn’t an enjoyable discussion, we went through it as a team.”
“My approach has always been the big picture … We have a lifetime ahead with the children, even the
umgidi
(Initiation into manhood) was one of the key moments, and there was nothing better than having both his parents and families from both sides present for Sean.
During this entire situation, Bala underscores the importance of addressing feelings for both parties, pointing out that “it is only when emotions are settled between both individuals that a divorced couple can effectively co-parent.”
Watch the full conversation below.
Provided by Syndigate Media Inc. (
Syndigate.info
).
